When my mind begins to wonder, if I’m talking to myself for no reason… or if… well, it is that my mind is clearly communicating with my gut. When the self talk starts up and it is not so pleasant, I have to remember where it’s coming from. Wasted rent space in my head will cloud my way to hear what is really going on. If negative thoughts creep in and want to manifest – it’s a choice to allow them. The actual fact that I didn’t realize I advertised to my gut there was rental space available… Then it’s time! Time to take inventory – self inventory.
This is one of the hardest tasks I do. Memories can be daunting and dissecting to the root draws a clear picture. One that can be seen in any light. Many times I want to flip the light switch off and close my eyes and sit with it in the dark. Even thinking when the light comes back on that the picture will magically change. Not true! Not the case!
If there is a problem, until it is brought to light it remains. These are self problems, not others blaming or shaming. It’s all me, self blaming – self loathing for growing pains of a lifetime of experiences. WHAT? Yep, and I believe it’s human nature to remember, relive inside, the good and not so good memories. For me, when the not so good want to hang around, I have to accept that it is time to wipe away the cobwebs – sweep away the debris. Look closely at the picture and see the true colors. Not where the past is, but where overcoming has delivered. The colors become so vivid. Seeing them for what they are.
The foundation has been built and is the perfect place to rebuild all things. Most importantly within. Because no matter what’s inside, it seeps out.
By the grace of God go I…
I’m grateful to make my bed when I awake. I am grateful to be able to do laundry when the hamper is full. Shoot, I’m grateful for the hamper to hold my dirty laundry. The smallest of things appreciated become quite the list of gratitude. I drown out the negativity. My mind and body find a balance. My mind finds peace. The unwelcome negative mind space renter is evicted. My gut health improves because the time and care I begin to invest in myself again.
There are a lot of letter I’s in this. As I look up, into the mirror I say… You have come a long way. You matter to me. Thank you for being you and all you do.. You are appreciated. Oh, and please don’t let so much time come between now and your next gratitude list. Date this and put it away. But share what you are doing somehow, with someone. You never know when something that seems so small to you, could be HUGE to someone else. Really all in all… lifting up, supporting, and encouraging others… well, isn’t that the kind of world we strive to live in? If only we remember to encourage ourselves too.